The Tale of Maxwell, The Zero
by Kyhan
Summary: I bet you’ve heard the Guildmaster’s form of Fable, but it was not true… In fact, the Guildmaster wanted the story to sound more heroic, and less pathetic. He always was that way. But this is the true story. The story of the clumsy, ZeroHero Maxwell!
1. The TRUE Story begins

Chapter 1

The **True** Story Begins

T'was a beautiful day in Albion. This is the setting for where the story begins, IF is deserves to be called that. The sun rose on a town called Oakvale. Sure, I bet you've heard the Guildmaster's form of this story, but it was not entirely true…

This is.

In fact, those who you ask will tell you that the Guildmaster wanted the story to sound more heroic, and less pathetic. He always was that way.

ANYWAY, it all started one day in Oakvale…

"CRAP!" A boy screamed, jumping up off of the steps up to his house.

"Forgot about your sister's birthday, egh?" the boy's father says, sitting next to him.

"Uh, yeah…" he said, scratching the back of his head. This is young Maxwell. He has short hair, and two thin strips of hair fall down to his chin in the front. His hair is messy, and he wears a white wizard hat that he found one day.

"Well, I'll make you a deal," Max's father said, with a grin. He revealed his horrid looking teeth, and made a ghastly wheeze.

"Here we go…" Maxwell mumbled to himself.

"Do something good, and I'll give you some gold, and you can buy a crappy gift from that trader down there. Be warned, it's gonna' suck more than what you made for her…" His father held up a small black sculpture made from wet toilet paper, sticks, a dead chicken, and a severed finger. The sculpture is… um… "Abstract" so to speak. It was originally going to be a model of her, but when his father saw it, he stamped on it, and threw it into the fire. Unluckily, it didn't go down so easily…

"Alright…" Maxwell groaned, shrugging.

He went down to the trader, and was greeted. "Oh hello boy! I'm from o-"

"Out of town, I've got it, and you've said that same damn thing five times now." Max said.

"Really?" the trader said, fiddling his very unattractive 'stache.

"I need a gift for someone. A small brown-haired girl with pigtails, in red clothes? So tall?" Max put his hand up, about one inch below his head height.

"Ah yes! That girl! She was cute," the trader said. He his eyes were in a sneaky expression, "I bet you've had some good times with her. Ever play doctor? Explore? Egh?"

"What?" Max said. Just because he was twelve, didn't mean he was stupid. "SHE'S MY SISTER!"

"Oh, even easier! You ever explore while she was as-"

"DO YOU HAVE ANY GIFTS DAMNIT!"

"Yes, I have a box of chocolates, a chicken head, a severed pe-"

"The chocolates will do."

"90 bucks."

"WHAT!"

"Oh fine, 100." Max looked at him as if he was insane. "3 gold?"

"Okay."

"Yeah, someday these things will go for at least 200!"

"Keep dreamin' man," Max says, running off to do good deeds.

Fist, he watched some barrels for a man. A kid was telling him to break them, so Max took him into one barn and pushed him into one closing it.

Next, he found a kid being bullied. At first he began to do the right thing, but then the kid got so annoying that Max had to beat the crap out of him. But after, he returned to beating the bully.

Next, he ratted a man out to his wife that he was cheating, and then watched them "make up."

Finally, he returned a teddy bear to a little girl and ran back to his father. It was then one guard started to scold him for being mean to the youngins.

"Nice job kid. Buy that box of chocolates…" Max's father said. "And here's a little extra… I want that severed pe-"

"Okay dad!" Max screamed back, not letting him finish his sentence.

Max ran for the trader.

"Good, you've got the money. Here, this is for your sister, and this…" he handed him something wrapped in a paper bag, "is you dad's. Hey, how about you come back with your sister, and I give her a… discount…"

"HE-YAH!" Max punches the trader in the family jewels, and he fell over. Max saw his money bag, and took it, while running to his sister.

"Hi brother," His sister, Theresa, said smiling. "I hope you have my gift…"

"Here…" Max said, handing the chocolates to her.

"Oh! Chocolates! Just like my dream! I kn- Huh?" She saw that the chocolates were open, and looked inside to see half of them eaten. She looked up at her brother who's mouth was covered in chocolate.

"I swear," He gulped, "The trader only had that one left" He swallows again "Better half than nothing…"

"You suck…" Theresa said, and he walked off, licking his fingers.

"Wait- oh fuck you brother…"

"BANDITS!" a man said, screaming as he ran into the town.

He got hit with one arrow right as he got to Max. "GAH! Oh wait… Hey! I'm gonna' be fine!" He got hit with 2 more arrows. "OH! THAT HURTS! But I'm still okay!"

Max jumps back into the field, and shoved Theresa to the side, closing the gate in front of her. The frustrated bandit finally ran at the injured man, and began to beat him repeatedly.

Maxwell silently screamed as the horror went on before his eyes. The last thing he remembered was seeing the man go after Theresa, and then he passed out.


	2. The Guild of ZEROS

Chapter 2

The Guild of **Zeros**

Maxwell awoke to a burning sensation on his arm. The bush he had hidden under was burning, as well as the rest of the town. His arm was alight.

"FUH HUH HUH HUK!" Maxwell screamed, trying to pat out his arm, and only spreading it to his other hand. "DAMNIT!" he screamed, and he rolled around. He rolled down the field, and out of the area. He then rolled into a burning fence, and then saw a puddle. Unfortunately, this was a puddle of gasoline, and he only lit that all on fire.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" he screamed, and threw his burning clothes away, except for his mage hat which was fire proof.

He started to walk up the path toward his house. "Okay, I'll get new clothes, and run out. Fuck family, fuck friends, I'M ESCAPING THIS HELL HOLE!" he screamed to himself, and as he walked he saw dead bodies. He bent over one, and scored a new suit of clothing.

He passed the bridge, and went over to his house. There, in the mud, was his father. Dead. He, However is a dumb ass, and didn't know this.

"Dad?" he said, poking him with a stick. "Hellooooo?" he said, poking him harder with the stick. "DAD!" he screamed, and impaled his father's dead body through the side. "OH SHIT!" he said, and took a step back.

"'Ere 'e is!" a bandit said, pointing to Maxwell. The bandit's eyes glowed in the darkness.

"Don't worry, I think he's dead…" Max said, referring to his father.

"GET THE KID!" a bandit said, and he lunged at Maxwell with a large club.

(Here I bet you think Maze steps in. He doesn't. Really, it's much less heroic…)

The bandit kicked Maxwell in the jewels, and then stepped on his body. The bandit then began to beat Maxwell into a pulp with the club.

"BITCH!" Maxwell said, rolling out of the way. "RAH!" he said, flipping, and pulling the stick out of his father's dead body. He landed in a battle pose, and charged at the bandit.

Their sticks collided, and Maxwell's snapped. The bandit's club then hit him in the side of the head. He fell over, and landed in a puddle of mud.

"OY! Ye'r dead, kid!" The bandit said, raising his club over his head. Maxwell got up, and faced the bandit.

The bandit swung his club at Maxwell, and it flew out of his hand. The bandit, confused, took out a knife.

Maxwell's eyes turned a bright bluish color and were filled with his mana. He stuck out his hand, and a drop of blood flew from his head to his hand. As it hit, it became a large sword, and he stuck it in front of himself.

"THAS' IT!" The bandit said in fear. Maxwell swung the sword at the man, and struck his face, cutting down his left eye.

Maxwell then throws the sword through his leg, and severs it. The blade bursted into blue particles, and Maxwell's eyes returned to normal. He looks t the bandit who now had regained his club, and used it as a cane. He raises his sword to kill Maxwell, and is struck by lightning.

"That was close boy!" Maze said, walking up to Maxwell, and stepping over the unconsus bandit, who killed Maxwell's father.

"What happened?" Maxwell said, dazed. "I got hit on the head, and he then… I don't remember, but then you came!" Maxwell said.

"I saved your life boy! Your father was killed, and after you were knocked out, I took out my blade, and struck him down…" Maze said, swinging his sword around.

"Who are you?"

"Call me Maze."

"Kay."

"Lets leave here…" Maze said, leading Maxwell to the bridge area. Max took one look at the Bandit's face. The scar, and those eyes… he would remember forever…

* * *

"Where are we?" Max said to Maze.

"We're at the Hero's Guild. I think you'll make a crappy hero, but we're in need of new student- WAIT! You're not disgusted? Vomiting?"

"No, why?"

"YOU WATCHED YOUR FAMILY GET KILLED!" Maze said to him.

"Nope, really, I was hiding in a bush, and passed out while that happened…"

"You impaled your father's dead body!"

"Oh yeah… well, that's not the first time…"

"My god boy!" Maze said, "Avo, help my decision…"

"Come on, Mr. Maze!" Max said, walking up to the door.

They entered the Guild. The Guild was very nice, and decorated well. There was a large map of Albion in the center of it.

"AH! Maze, good to see you!" The Guildmaster said, doing a very complicated handshake with Maze.

Maxwell looked around the room, and saw the stat pool. Wondering what it was, he stepped into it.

"NO! BOY GET OUT OF THERE!" The Guildmaster screamed, running after him, but he was stopped as Maxwell was overtaken by the power.

"Go get him, Guildmaster!" Maze said, confused.

" I can't! If one interferes with one in the stat pool, they both will die!" The Guildmaster said, "And I don't want to die!"

Inside the pool, Maxwell floated around in darkness. He opened his eyes, and a face appeared in front of him.

"What is it you desire most?" the face said and tablets appeared in between them, each with a label, "Power? Magic? Guile-"

"OOH! Guile! What's that?" Max said, poking the tablet.

"Guile it is!" the face said, and looked at his points. "How did you get this many points! YOU HAVE JUST ENOUGH TO MASTER THIS!" The face said.

"Oh! That's what those were for! I collected them!"

There was a flash, and Maxwell stood in the stat pool, his eyes glowing green. The green left like a mist, and he stepped out.

"Hey, what's 'Guile?'" Maxwell asked them.

"Why must you know?" The Guildmaster snapped at him.

"The face in there said I mastered it, and I did…" Max said, pointing to the pool.

"MAZE!" The Guildmaster said, in shock.

"Guildmaster?" Maze asked, turning to talk with him.

"How the hell did this boy do that?" The Guildmaster asked.

"I don't know. He must have had some experience from before I found him in that raid…"

"YOU FOUND HIM IN A RAID!" The Guildmaster asked, in shock.

"Yes. Oakvale." Maze said.

"Alright, whatever, but—SOME?" The Guildmaster asked, "I already don't like this boy…"

"Don't worry, I think he's from… the bloodline…" Maze said, pointing to him.

"Him?" The Guildmaster said, and he looked at Maxwell, who had his finger deep into his nose. He smiled at the Guildmaster, and he turned again. "I doubt it."

"Just train him, old man."

"FINE!" The Guildmaster said, and he turned again.

"Well?"

"We'll let you stay here. You'll be bunking with Whisper. She's just as young as you. Now go to bed."


	3. The ZERO Training

Chapter 3

The **Zero** Training

* * *

Hey, guys! I'm back to writing my (If not second) most popular story on Fanfiction and Mediaminer.

Sorry for the absence, I was more focused on both schoolwork and my TT Fics (and "Rearing your shadow" is almost done, making that three completed fics.)

Anyway, it's time for the triumphant return of MAXWELL, THE ZERO!

* * *

Maxwell walked, as the Guildmaster told him to, to bed, despite it's being only 11:AM if clocks were there.

He rested from the battle, and had a nice dream…

"Wakes up, dip-shit!" Maxwell heard, and he opened his eyes. Above him was a black girl. "Yo, why d-ya have ta be spendin' mah rizzle rappa!"

"Huh?" Maxwell said, wearily, "I don't speak gangsta'…"

"Oh, what? Do I have a racist up in tha hizouse?"

"What the FUCK are you saying!" Maxwell asked aloud.

"Don' makes me pops a arrow in yo pizzle white ass, beyotch!"

"Okay, stop talking to me…"

"Yo, tha Guildmasta' wants you in tha courtyardizzle fo yo ballin'!"

"Uh… I'm just going to go to the courtyard… my training starts today…"

"Ya betta rizzle bitch!" she said, as he ran out.

Maxwell ran down the stairs, into the main room, and the looked around. "So many paths…" He looked for one and ran into it, only to return to the main room. "What?" he took another, and it also lead back. "Oh goddamn it!"

He continued running through rooms, and finds the Chamber of Fate. "Wow…" he said, looking around. He then turned. "This is not where I should be…" He ran out, and about an hour later, he found himself out of the building.

"I bet I'm the fastest in the guild!" two men argued, and Maxwell went up to them.

"What's going on?" Maxwell asked.

"I ran to the demon door and back in 30 seconds!"

"Big shit!" Maxwell said, "You're a jackass!" He walked off, and the other man just laughed.

"He got you there!" the other man said, and the first one pouted.

Maxwell showed up to the Guild master, and he looked at him sternly. "You're late."

"I couldn't understand what my roommate was saying…" Maxwell said, and the Guildmaster slapped him.

"Well that's Whisper for you…Now, get in the damn ring. I want to see your Melee skills…"

"Melee?" Maxwell asks confused, and the Guildmaster slapped him into the ring.

He punched the dummy, and clutched his hand in pain falling down and crying at his nearly broken hand. The Guildmaster rolled his eyes

"Take this stick, and attack that dummy again."

"Sure…" Maxwell said, rubbing his hand as he took a stick from the Guildmaster, and started to beat the dummy with it. He attacked fiercely and abruptly, attacking from every direction with full force and brute rage, imagining it something he hated more than anything. He hit as hard as possible and could feel the wind rushing through his hair as he fights, swinging and plotting every movement before he made it.

5 seconds after he attacked he laid on the ground, beaten and bruised, as the dummy bounced lightly back and fourth.

"OH MY GOD!" The Guildmaster screamed in embarrassment, "YOU SUCK!"

Maxwell spit out one of his teeth, and got up again. He grunted toward the Guildmaster and he tried again, this time, getting slightly less hurt when he was knocked back to the ground.

"Avo help us…" the Guildmaster said, Maze and a group of younger students with swords laughing at him from the sidelines.

Maxwell spends the rest of the day trying the test and getting his ass kicked by an inanimate object. The crowd eventually left of boredom, as they have seen everything already. The sun goes down, and the Guildmaster is at the verge of having a heart attack. Maxwell finally tries it; not getting hurt, and the Guildmaster finally loses patience gives up.

"Good job Maxwell!" He says, trying to get it over with so that he can finally get this jackass out of the guild. "You pass!"

"Really?" Maxwell asks, standing up with two black eyes, and three of his front teeth missing, scratches, cuts and one fracture on his skull.

"Yeah… Now lets try arche…um…" He then realized it's a mistake to teach such an idiot and horrible fighter to use a bow, and thus endangering all other heroes and civilians in Albion; but Max already understood the word.

"ARCHERY!" Max asked ecstatically, and th eguildmaste rlooks in horror.

"N-NO! I meant… uh…" He looked around for something that he can use to take back what he said, finding nothing; he gave up, "Yes. Archery…" He silently weeped, and prayed to Avo not to get killed in the crossfire.

"YAY!" he ran up to the archery Range. It is still night, let me remind you…

"Alright, take this long bow…." The Guild master hands him it, and he smiles. "Now, see if you can hit some targets…"

"I'll try…" Maxwell arms the bow, and pulls back. He then starts to tremble. "IT'S TOO WOBBLY!" He turns around, the bow still armed, and the Guildmaster hits the floor, as he releases the arrow where his head was. It flies off, and hits the tour guide in the head, and knocking the man over in a puddle of his own blood.

"Oh shit! He's DEAD!" One of the men on the tour says, looking over where Maxwell is.

"I think you'd be better off with this…" The Guildmaster hands him a slingshot, and throws the bow away.

"Uh… okay…"

"Now go…"

* * *

Maxwell received the same training for the next 3 years, and all the while, he barely advanced at all.

"Hizzy Max, yoe late again n shit. Tha Guildmasta gonna' be pissed again wit da big Bo$$ Dogg. You need ta git up, nia!" Whisper says, waking him up again, "Three dizzy years of thiznis, W-H-to-tha-izzen is you finally gonna git up on yo own?"

"Pleaze, stop gett'n all over me wit this, I know its bizzle three years!" Max said, finally understanding the language after all the time he spent with her, he has been able to talk it, but barely. "AND CAN YOU TAK NORMALLY!"

"Nizno... I cant... Im not gonna jizzy D-R-to-tha-izzop mah culture..." Whisper said, walking him down to the courtyard, so he didn't get lost again.

"Hello Whisper, good morning… Maxwell…" he looked at Max frowning.

"Good mornizzin, Guildmasta'!" Whisper said, as they walk to the Melee ring.

"Now, Maxwell, Whipser, you two will spar today," He smirked, "Get in the ring."

The two of them got ready in the ring, Max with his stick, and Whisper with her metal staff.

"Wait a sec…" Max turned to the Guildmaster, "Shouldn't I get a real weapon now? I have used the stick for THREE YEARS now, and I'm facing an opponent with a real weapon!"

The Guildmaster thought for a minute. "No." he puts both arms up, "BEGIN!"

The two of them squared off, and Max lunged in with his sword, striking the staff. Whisper, with ease, knocked it out of his hand.

"GAH!" He ran around in circles, screaming loudly, as he was sure he would die. He took his stick again, and threw it at Whisper, hitting her in the eye.

"OWW! MAH EYE! MAH EYE!" She screams, walking around. Max snuck up behind her using his ultimate guile, and tackled her, knocking her unconscious.

"Oh my god… Avo help us… He beat Whisper…" the Guildmaster says, backing up in fear.

"I did? I DID! YES! IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR BLACK FACE!" Max screams in joy.

"YO!" a large black man says, and he pucks Max up by the back of the neck with two fingers.

"Oh, hello Thunder! Maxwell, this is Whisper's older brother, Thunder."

"Mah N-A-to-the-mizzle is Thundawg, Guildmasta'." Thundawg said, "Thats all wrizzong Whispa!' Yo' need mizzore trazaning!"

"Yes Thundawg… Bizzitch nia white boy, I'm gonna git you back..." Whisper mumbled walking off.

"Wow…" Maxwell says, laughing. "That was awesome!"

"Now Maxwell, we need to test your archery skills."

"Can I use a real bow this time? I hate the slingshot!"

"No."

"BUT GUILDMASTER!" He says, picking the long bow up again, "I can use it, SEE?" He armed it, and then pulls back, letting it go facing AWAY FROM THE TARGETS.

"SHIT!" Guildmaster says, dropping down and barely missing it, as it flies off, and hits the guy now testing people in the ring against whisper, hitting him straight on the jugular vain.

"I THINK HE'S DEAD!" Someone screams, and people scream, Max just staring at the screaming people blankly.

"I _would have _gotten it if I was facing the right way…"

"Tell it to someone who gives a damn!" The Guildmaster tears the bow from his hands, and breaks it over one knee handing it back to him. "You pass. Now, let's teach you about mana…"

"Sure!" He ran off to learn mana, and met the guild master by the demon door.

"Alright, boy, this is mana, magic…" He shocks him.

"AGH! DON'T DO THAT!" Max screamed, and the Guildmaster shocked him again.

"Now, you try. Concentrate hard on it. Tighten your muscles and shock the targets."

Maxwell tried long and hard, clenching and imagining the mana in his hands, bursting as lightning and hitting the target.

Instead, he farted and crapped himself a little.

"Uh… That's not mana…" the Guildmaster said, "That's called being a fucking stupid retard and shitting yourself."

"HEY! I'm not stupid!" He said, frowning. He washed himself, and came back. "Okay… I can do this…" He started rubbing his boots on the grass back and fourth, walking toward the dummy, and let out a little static from his finger, which seemd to drain him a lot of energy.

"WOW!" The Guildmaster said, sarcastically, "You used Mana!"

"Was it? Or was it just static…"

"Uh… It was a little bit of both… You put magic into it, and made it a little stronger…" Max falls over. "You used all of it? DAMN! Boy, you're bad in mana too!"

Max stands up. "Shut up…" He said.

"Well, that's all the training for today. Get some sleep. You have some chores tomorrow." Maxwell falls over again at this.

"UGH!" Max groaned at the though of chores, as he crawled to his bed from the demon door.

"Damn, that boy is a bullshit fighter…" The demon door said to the Guildmaster.

"I'll say… See you tomorrow, Mitch!" the Guildmaster said to the demon door.

"See ya'!" The demon door said, falling asleep.


End file.
